My motto for this year. Enough said

Red light- Green light

I'm back and in full control. I'm working out again and continuing my pledge to eat healthy.
Last week  kicked my butt. I don't know what happened but I felt like I was treading water barely keeping my head above the surface. I couldnt keep up with daily chores and felt overwhelmed and TIRED.
One day last week while I was driving, I dropped my cell phone. My plan was to pick it up at a red light. As luck would have it, I got every single green light.  It was extremely frustrating and I could feel my anxiety rising. I finally got the red light I needed and I let out a huge sigh of relief and closed my eyes. It was such a defining moment  because I felt this sense of peace and calmness take over. I was able to clear my mind .  It was just me, the music and my thoughts. When the light turned green, I felt a sense of relaxation I hadnt felt in a long time.
I think those green lights were a metaphor for my life. I was the Energizer Bunny on crack, just going and going and going. My goal this year was to slow down, relax and smell the roses but I wasn't doing anything to establish this goal. I needed a red light for my life.
So what did I do? I realized that I am not Superwoman. I cannot and don't have to do it all my self. It's ok to relinquish control and ask for help. It will not make me less of a woman if I  can't juggle career, house and famly perfectly and quite frankly no one said I had to. I was the only person putting those expectations on myself. Maybe it was culture, or maybe it was OCD, who knows, but my expectations of myself were unrealistic. Plus if I'm doing my job as a wife and mother then I've  established an environment in which my husband and daughter (especially my daughter) can do for themselves. They probably never did because I would do it all for them.
I put my plan to work. This past weekend when we had come back from LA, they said they were hungry. I was already lying down so I told them to get cereal. They didn't get cereal but they did make themselves some quesadillas AND asked if I wanted anything. AWESOME.  The next day I had my daughter take on more responsilbilites after school while I cooked dinner. The result? Extra time for me to work out and time to finally write in my journal.
As I write this I'm thinking that maybe I am Superwoman. I just wasn't using my powers in the right way. If you look back, every super hero had someone to help him or her out, they didn't go it alone. That wouldve been impossible.  Batman had Robin and Alfred. Spiderman had aunt May and Wonderwoman had Wondergirl.  Who do I have?  Well I have a loving caring family who is going to play a huge role in my taking time to stop and smell the roses and treasure those red lights we often take for granted.

Off to a bad start

Today is January 14th. We are halfway through the month and I have not started one resolution. It didn't help that I was sick for 2 weeks and I think those 2 black cats that walked in front of my car had something to do with it.
I was feeling bad for letting so much time go by without accomplishing anything, but in the end I thought  "If I don't take care of myself who will?" So I rested, caught up on my DVR, and took care of  ME.The only highlight was going to dinner and a movie to celebrate my 16th wedding anniversary. BTW , Black Swan is a must see.
During my sick leave I kept hearing this ongoing theme of New Year, New You all over the media and it resonated with me.
So here I am. The New Me: guilt free, rested, and ready to go......full steam ahead.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone and welcome to My Journey to Forty. I hope everyone rang in 2011 with hope to see what this year will bring.

The birth of My Journey to 40
This past October I turned 39. Shortly after I found a line on my forehead which was a clear sign that I was getting older and 40 was around the corner. My reaction was something compared to Mcaulay Calken's character in Home Alone- hands on face and screaming at the top of my lungs. I then started to examine my self closer and started to nit pick and obsess over all the signs of aging.
I started my hunt for the perfect eye cream and anti aging products to help slow down the aging process. I Googled and read  magazines and had began a chart to compare products. To say I was obsessed is an understatement. My husband and daughter thought I had lost it especially when I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror anymore. I was in a full state of panic.
Then one day I remembered something Iwould always tell my daughter. It doesn't matter what your outside looks like, if your inside is ugly.   I realized that my panic and anxiety were not about about that line, but more about me or my "inside". With 40 coming soon I began to analyze my life and what I had accomplished so far and whether or not I was a better person now than when I had turned 30. For the most part the answer is yes. I feel that I've grown as a person and have accomplished some of my goals, the biggest one being getting my Master degree.
I decided that my New Years Resolution would be to better myself physically, mentally and spiritually and I would start journaling my progress. In a conversation with my husband, he suggested getting a blog so other people can share or lean from the experience. I thought " Oh that would be nice and we can name it My Journey to 40"  but didn't really give it a second thought. Later that evening he bought the site ( typical of my husband who thinks I can do whatever I set my mind to) and left me no choice but to follow through.
So  here we are. This site isn't just for those turning 40. Its for anyone reaching a milestone in their lives or who wants to make a personal change in their lives. I welcome comments, suggestions, stories, etc as I start this journey.
Goals for 2011
Not Diet- Eat healthier
Excercise daily
Read more
I will not dwell on what I don't have
I will not live by other's peoples expectations
Make a vision board.
Travel
Me time

( this is  all for now)